I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She bit a glass in half.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
