the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
