Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
