i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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