I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize