Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
