Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
