we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have aggressive nipples.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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