I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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