Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
