doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Will you blow on my dice?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
