I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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