I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
