it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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