well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
