Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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