oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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