I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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