Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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