I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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