i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
