brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
