plz talk dirty to me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
