My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
ttyl tear gas
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
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