morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
