we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
