You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
