Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
