this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
