Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Congratulations! We have a period
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
