I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
