Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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