Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
honey bunches of taint.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
