I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
no. you can't hotbox the world.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
