He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
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He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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