remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
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Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
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Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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