Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
