how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
