i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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