we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
