Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
