When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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