A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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