either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
