you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
