Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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