All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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