nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
how drunk are you?
Several
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
