Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
