Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
