I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
