She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
