I'm gonna have a badass scar
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
