I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
