Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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