I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
