New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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