Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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